Extra Baggage

When you walk a long time, things begin to feel very heavy...extremely heavy! A chapstick becomes heavy...a cell phone weighs a ton.

When I packed, I had a 14 lb limit, but I cheated and brought along a few extra things. Stuff I thought I couldn't live without. I ended up with 15.5 lbs. I assumed I could handle just an extra pound and a half. I mean, that's nothing...but when you walk a long time…

So...as my rhomboids and erectors began to throb and spasm, I began to see every little thing as a lead weight that I was dragging along the Camino.

I've heard that the secret to enlightenment is non-attachment...I also think that's the secret to lightenment. So the first thing I let go of was my bra!. I had burned it while trying to dry it in a microwave, so it was already pretty messed up, but it took me a week to fully realize that my modesty (or vanity) wasn't important enough to lug that thing around with me.

But baggage has meaning. A week ago we (John, me and my rhomboids) finally came to the decision that we wanted to send one of our bags ahead and just share carrying one bag while we walked. Yes. It's wonderful. Our bag just magically appears at the next albergue we plan to stay at.

A good decision.

So...the reasonable thing is for each of us to equally carry the other bag while we walked. But reasonable is not always the hallmark of a loving relationship.

John, my hero, has insisted on carrying the bag most of the time. Yes, there is guilt, but he reminds me that he is doing it because he loves me. More guilt...nope...fuck guilt. I have chosen to graciously receive his love! I mean, love isn't measured through negotiations. It’s not an “if you do this then…”

I struggled with this gift from John. I still do and I do sometimes carry the bag...but not nearly as much as him.

Accepting and receiving your partner’s love and kindness matters. And realizing that he WANTS to do it...matters.

So when I was walking and from behind I heard a couple singing “BINGO”, I wondered if that was a new hip song in Spain. As they passed, I saw, what looked like a skyscraper tent on the man’s back and I realized they were joyfully singing to their CHILD, who was their “extra baggage” along the Camino. That dad was carrying at least an extra 15 lbs and he was singing joyfully. Clearly it was a labor of love.

I recall that what a child experiences in the first two years of life is deeply formative. So this little guy is experiencing beautiful mountains, the rhythm of his parents’ footsteps, wind through wheat fields and so much more. What a generous gift and I'm sure it brings both of those parents deep joy and pleasure to know this.

Deep love and gratitude wins today!